Top 20 Funniest Face Book Status Updates

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Some of the best status updates you'll read!

If you're like me sometimes it takes awhile to think of a good update to leave your friends laughing on face book. I've taken a collection of some of the funniest updates ever, Enjoy!

(your name) saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold…
thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
has an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
Sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say "YOU'RE IT!!" and then run away
Finds it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
”The greatest thing about Face book, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
was playing "FARMVILLE" when immigration showed up and took all my workers !
Is wondering "If you choke a Smurf, what color does he turn?"
grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa
hated when old aunts came up to me after weddings and said "u r next" They stopped that when I did the same to them after funerals
first we had mad cow disease, then we had bird flu, now we have swine flu, O.M.F.G it's FARMAGGEDON
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
has discovered the secret to life, but I won't tell you, because it's a secret
my friends status said " suicidal and standing on a cliff " So I Poked Him.
's advise: Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work